Ring Ring
by noonrise
Summary: When do you stop carrying the past around with you? Oneshot. Neela and Ray


Title: Ring Ring  
Rating: Fan Rated T  
Summary: When do you stop carrying the past around with you? Neela/Ray

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and they are used here without permission.

A/N: Got the idea from a mention about continuity errors in the show on a forum.

The little box sat on the table in front of her. She'd been wondering about it for weeks. Amazing really how a few grams of gold, rolled into a band could provoke so many questions. Yes, she was married, but the man she married…wasn't around anymore, would never be around again. Neela didn't know the etiquette in these situations. Did you wear the ring proudly and announce to the world that you were married to a memory, or was there a certain amount of time that had to pass before you were allowed to slip it from your finger and consign it to the "things to remember" box?

Perhaps it would have been easier if they'd been married longer, gotten to know each other a little better, lived together even. At the moment, she felt like all that was binding her to Michael was the ring. It wasn't like she'd had a stack of clothes in the closet to go through and take to the charity store or a pile of photographs of all the exotic places he took her to, nope, just the ring, a few snapshots and that damned video. Not a lot for a marriage.

If they'd been together longer, Neela felt sure she'd want to keep wearing the ring. Once she'd grown to love Michael more, then perhaps it wouldn't have felt like the burden it did. She found herself fiddling with it. Twisting it round on her finger when she got anxious, jiggling it up to her knuckle, its loose fit sliding with ease, tempting it further up until…

No. She knew that to take it off now would be seen as disrespectful and Neela was acutely aware that much of her dilemma about still wearing the ring was all about what other people thought. Take it off too soon and "look, she didn't love him so much after all, she's already looking for someone else". Leave it on and it would be "poor Neela, she really needs to move on, she can't still be grieving, can she?"

She wanted to move on. Not forget Michael, she didn't think she'd ever do that, but find a place for him, so she could live and be happy without feeling guilty about it. The ring was a big part of that. Taking the ring off, and not just to do the washing up, taking it off would be an admission to herself that she was ready to go back into the world, to date and love and feel again. Not something that she was ready for quite yet, but it was getting closer, she could feel it.

Funny, she thought, if I'd loved Michael with an absolute passion, I wouldn't even be thinking about this. I'd wear the ring 'til the day I died, proudly for all the world to see. I wouldn't be thinking about moving on, because you don't ever get over the love of your life, they colour your every thought, no matter how many years pass and you're a different person, a better person, for knowing them.

That thought sent a flock of goosebumps shivering over her skin. She knew who she was thinking about. Someone who'd snuck in and changed her without her even realising it. Someone who'd put some flesh on the bones of her life and opened her eyes to a world beyond study and work, food and sleep and the opinion of others. Someone who'd respected the ring and everything it meant to her, despite what it meant to him.

She'd worn the ring longer than she'd been married. Maybe it was time. Her hand hovered over the simple black box. Could she stand the shock from Pratt, the stares from everyone else when they figured what was missing? Other people's opinions again. Damn you, Ray!

Neela sat there a little longer, the skin on the third finger of her left hand chafed and sore. She wasn't ready, no matter how much she tried to convince herself, she couldn't let the last few months slip by into memory just yet. The ring kept it raw, just like her finger. So she'd let it rest just a little longer.

A shrill sound pulled her up. Only the phone. She let it ring over to the answer machine and heard her own voice telling whoever it was to please leave a message after the beep.

There was a long pause before "Hi Neela, it's Ray" blared over the speaker. "I wondered if you were ok, you seemed a little…down earlier. If there's anything you need, just … you know. Ok, see you."

She knew a time would come where the ring would slide from her finger with a lingering taste of regret, which would eventually be replaced by something much sweeter. And that time was drawing closer with each tick of the alarm clock that woke her every morning in a home that wasn't hers.


End file.
